Category: Episode Related: The Sentinel by Blair Sandburg, angst,
Summary: Another Alternative Ending to TSbBS. Sorry,
guys. Not simply content to trash Blair emotionally and psychologically, I had
to wound him physically, as well.
Disclaimer: Not *yawn*
mine. Pet Fly's.
Spoilers: TSbBS, other episodes (just a
mention of the Bad Guys and Evil BOTWs)
who just rewatched TSbBS? :-) Now, the first time I saw it, as soon as I saw Simon
and Megan go down, I just kept waiting for Blair to get hit at some point. Not
because I like seeing Blair in extensive pain *looking at ceiling and whistling*,
but because I thought it would make following up on the foreshadowing from S2P2
more... complete. After all, Jim's nightmares were all coming to life, why not
Blair's getting hurt? So, I obligingly hurt him for the good of us all. ;-) Explaination:
The song is from "The Fix"
I'd like to dedicate this story to Gray Wolf and Mpala, both of whom have invited
me to their page and made me feel so welcome. *mwah*
Grit your teeth,Sell the lies.
How they burn, dear,
Those flashbulbs in your eyes.
Jim hesitated, seeing
Blair talking to a doctor. The doctor moved off and Blair caught sight of him.
his voice was still shaking. As was the rest of him. Jim felt something in him
tighten and bury itself deeper. He had done this; caused Blair to be on the verge
of an emotional breakdown. There was so much inside him, wanting to come out,
but all tangled up. And of course words were deserting him. He tried to convey
what he felt to Blair through his eyes, but neither of them could seem to make
contact for more than a second. "The doc said the surgery went well and the
bullet missed major organs on both of them, but, uh, he said they can leave in
about a week or two." Poor kids heart was racing.
God," Jim replied. Blair blinked a couple of times, nodding.
I heard you guys probably got Zeller."
"I don't know.
Somebody probably got him. We still got Bartley to contend with. I don't know
which one's worse." Jim paused, staring at Blairs profile. "I
saw your press conference."
only reply Blair had given him. Jim felt unsettled. What had he done wrong? Was
he supposed to say something more?
"Are you ready to get
busy?" he asked, and they headed for the elevator. There was silence on their
descent. Jim felt frustrated. Hed apologized, and hed meant it. Everything
was supposed to get better now. Why was there still this tension between them?
This uneasiness, this silence? Why couldnt they get out of this perpetual
Jim closed his eyes and shuddered. Again and again he relived
that moment when the shot from Zeller had been fired. And he remembered; the Eye
of God. That bullet had just been inches from hitting Blair, as well. What if
it *had* hit him? With all this between them? For the first time in days, Jim
was thinking clearly. It was if he had awakened from a fever.
Jim?" he blinked at the sound of Sandburgs voice. They were in the
garage, sitting in the car. Where was Blairs car? "Did
Blair stopped. *Did you zone?* was the unspoken question, Jim knew. Before all
this, Blair wouldnt hesitate to ask. "Are you ready to go?" Sandburg
asked instead. Jim started the car.
"Yeah, Chief, lets
Blair watched absently as Jim went to talk to
Bartley. Jims words kept running around in his head. It was all Jim had.
Or at least, all he could say. Was it enough? He sighed and dropped his head,
hunching his shoulders.
A sudden noise exploded throughout the
room, and Blair was able to identify it as intense gunfire. He automatically dove
to the floor, protected by a desk. With bullets and glass raining down upon him,
frantic screams in the air, and no idea of whether Jim was all right or not, it
was the scariest moment of Blairs life. Abruptly, there was silence. He
heard Joel shakily calling out for Jim and cautiously peered up. He looked around,
heart pounding and feeling sick. Chaos; people were either wounded or trying to
get out. Bullet holes were everywhere, glass was shattered, the place in shambles.
A movement caught his eye. Zeller was back, and Joel was out in the open. He launched
himself forward without thinking.
"Joel!" he bellowed,
knocking into the larger man, sending them both to the floor. He was a split second
too late to avoid the shower of ammunition that came down for the second time.
A bullet hit him, and pain exploded through his body, spiraling him down into
Jim raced after Zeller, following him to
the roof. Three shots were rapidly fired at him, and he ducked behind a wire grill.
Zeller was fumbling with a rope, his plan apparently being to go over the side.
Jim jumped out, pointing his gun at Zeller.
he called. "Its over. You missed Bartley." Zeller dropped the
rope and pulled out his own gun. He aimed it at Jim.
lying!" he yelled, haphazardly pulling the trigger several times. Jim dropped
and rolled, getting up on one knee and firing his own gun. One bullet. He wiped
his forehead, staring down at Zellers body. What had happened to the mans
finesse? Stress? Panic? Had he just given up? Jim shook his head, turning away.
He ran down the stairs, ready to help aid the wounded and send someone for Zeller.
Jim!" he turned toward Joels frantic voice, and his heart stopped as
a feeling of colossal dread engulfed him. Joel was bent over Blair, tears running
down his scared face unnoticed. He had his hands pressed against Blairs
chest, blood pooling around him. Blair was unconscious.
are the paramedics?" he bellowed, sinking to the ground beside Joel, who
flinched at the tone of Jims voice. "Its OK, Blair, youll
" He continued talking, though he didnt know what he was
saying. All his attention was focused on the faltering breathing and fading heartbeat
underneath him. At the edge of his consciousness, he was aware of his voice saying
something about "need" and "sorry, so sorry", but he was sinking
into a black and gray world with no sound, and no end.
was scared out of my mind when it was just me and Blair, Simon, but when Jim came
I was terrified." Joel ran a badly shaking hand over his face. "You
should have seen him
Ive never known that kind of terror or grief,
Simon. There are no words for it." Captain Banks slowly nodded.
know what you mean all too well, Joel. At the fountain
" his voice caught
and he was forced to pause and clear his throat. They were both silent for a while.
I think if Blair were to die, Jim would die very shortly after."
Taggart said slowly, looking at Simons profile. Banks swallowed hard.
think youre right, Joel," he said softly. That day, after they had
hustled Blair off, the hospital had been oddly still while Joel was waiting. Every
now and again, a nurse would bustle out, but then soon would be gone. Now he was
in Simons room, who was coherent but still weak. It was three days after
Zellers shoot-out, and Blair still hadnt woken up.
never seen a connection like this one between them, captain. Do you think its
because of the Sentinel thing?" Taggarts voice had gotten quieter as
he ended his sentence, even though there was no one around to hear them. Simon
"I dont know, I just dont know. This
is partially my fault, you realize. Ever since this whole mess started, I was
just waiting. Waiting for Blair to end up with a bullet in his back or water in
his lungs. I should have done something."
your fault, Simon. It was everyones and nobodys, as stupid as that
sounds." There was another pause. "He saved my life, Simon. He saved
mine, Jims, yours
We owe him a lot. We owe him everything, perhaps.
Have you heard
that sometimes a person can survive or die due to will? If
they want to live, it will increase their chances or surviving? What does Blair
have to pull him through this, now?" Simon closed his eyes and Joel sighed.
"Im sorry, captain, I dont want to wear you out. Ill stop
talking about it."
"Its not that, Joel. Its
just that I dont have any answers."
not the only one," mumbled Taggart, sinking down in his chair wearily.
It couldnt be a vision, Blair rationalized, because he never got
visions. The only time he had been close to one was at the fountain, and this
didnt feel anything like that.
For one thing, he wasnt
in a jungle, he was in Major Crimes. Besides, there was no blue light around,
instead, it was glaringly realistic. So, it must be a dream.
he called out timidly. "Simon? Joel? Anyone?" The place was empty. The
desks were there, but they were stark. His voice echoed. A fog began swirling
around in front of him. He took a step back in surprise. A pair of cold, black
eyes glared out at him from the mist. Blair swallowed hard, several times. A nose
emerged along with a forehead. In the thundercloud below the forming face the
vague outline to a body appeared. In the cloud he saw Janet, dead. The picture
changed. Emily Watson, dead. That image faded to show Lashs victims in rapid
succession. The body from that rig. Roy. The fog gently blew away. Grey skin stretched
over a skull. Wisps of white hair, blank, black eyes too large and sunk in his
face, thin lips pulled back to revel rotting teeth. He wore a black tux too big
for his thin frame and a black cape. Who wears capes these days? wondered
Blair peripherally. The man smiled, and that was even more horrifying than no
"Who are you?" Blair asked tremulously
and mentally kicked himself for showing weakness.
what you see when you look in the mirror," the man had a low, scratchy voice.
Blair yelped. Cracks suddenly ran through the man, light peeping through the hairline
marks. Chancellor Edwards image spread over that of the man. "Whats
"For however long you live, Ill never
leave you," she still had the mans deep voice. Cracks raced through
her image and Sid Graham came forth.
"What do you mean?"
Blairs breath was coming fast. Zeller emerged next, smiling straight at
him. The anthropologists heart rate spiked.
nightmare-" Maya came next. "-will never go away, you know." Maya
morphed into Francine Barrett. "I live *inside* you. Youll always have
me with you." Francine disappeared to produce Quinn. Quinn cracked into Kincaid.
Kincaid into Jim when he was at his coldest. "Theres no escape."
Jim turned into Brad Ventriss. Ventriss slid into Iris. Iris transformed. Galileo.
has to be!" Blair cried, watching Galileo turn into Lash, wearing his clothes
and that cursed, cursed wig. "How can I get out of this?" Lash stayed
long than the rest, smiling softly and advancing. Blair backed away blindly. Between
one step and the next, Lash split into Brackett.
no escape," the voice repeated, Brackett shifting into Chapel. Chapel, too,
stayed slightly longer. Chapel suddenly started to burn. Golden, golden. Golden
fire, golden arms reaching out. Sobs clawed at Blairs throat.
he wailed in denial. The fires burning lessened and Alex took form.
live inside you-" Alex started to advance, to stalk.
the devil and all his demons."
over to Jims desk- it *had* to be Jims desk, it *had* to be, please
let it be, please- and pulled out his backup .38. He was shaking, crying so hard
he could hardly aim. "I have to get rid of you somehow!" He fired. Alex
laughed. The bulled passed through her. He stared, licking his lips and tasting
salt. He turned the gun on himself. It disappeared from his hand.
this time sobbed. Suddenly angry, he glared at the man. Alex was gone, consumed
by this figure. The ultimate embodiment of his fears and demons. "I wont
let you control me."
"Too late," the figure stepped
to him, *in* him and the started swirling around, disappearing into him, into
nothing, leaving Blair on his knees.
"I think hes
waking up!" Seven pairs of eyes focused on Blairs pale face, seven
lungs eagerly holding in air. Pain twisted Sandburgs face, and his eyes
screwed tightly shut.
"Blair?" Jim called gently. No
reaction. Then Blair relaxed and his eyelashes fluttered up. Dull eyes took in
seven shining faces. The lines of pain increased and he sank back into sleep.
up!" Naomi rejoiced, her red-rimmed eyes glowing. "This is good, right?"
Its a good time.
a great life.
Thats your lot;
You wrote the book,
rule the biz,
You aim to win.
Its a fine day.
Its a swell year.
And when its not
You make it look
As though it is,
Blair gritted his teeth as he
settled back against the headboard of the hospital bed. Jims hand felt heavy
on his shoulder, but Blair didnt want him to move it. It felt reassuring
in a way, and who knew how long it would be before something else nuclear exploded
between them? Until then, he wanted the comfort.
you feeling?" Jim asked, moving around to face Blair, twisting his hand as
he went. Blair forced a smile onto his face.
"A little winded,
embarrassingly, but good," he grinned up at Jims haggard countenance.
It felt plastic-like. Jim gave an answering fake smile and squeezed his shoulder.
He returned to his chair and started playing absently with a corner of the bed
sheet. Blair allowed his eyes to slide shut. This stay was much like his last,
after drowning. No emotional conversations, Jim struggling to show how he was
feeling. They sat like that until the nurse came to give Blair his meds. Jim excused
himself and exited the room. After the nurse had left as well and Blair was finally
alone, he dropped his head forward so his chin rested on his chest. His forehead
knotted in pain and he clenched his jaw.
Hearing someone at the
door he quickly cleared his face and lifted his head. Simon cautiously poked his
"Hey, Simon," Blair greeted, smiling slightly.
Banks returned the greeting and entered the room. He was using a cane and had
to move laboriously.
"I thought youd seen enough of
this place," Blair said lightly. Simon carefully lowered himself into Jims
"I thought I had too," he replied gruffly. "How
are you feeling, Blair?"
"All right, considering."
"Glad to hear that." He played with his
cane. "When are they letting you out of here?" Blair smiled.
some of the nurses are holding a sit-in to protest my departure, but I should
be out by Thursday." Simon laughed a little too long.
good," a pause. "Everyone misses you at the station." Blair swallowed
"Thats nice to hear," he settled on
"Youre coming back, arent you?"
Simon asked, looking at him full in the face. Blair was silent.
really dont know, Simon." Simon sighed through his nose and dropped
his eyes to the floor.
"Im really sorry, Blair, about
this whole mess. If I had acted sooner-"
your fault, Simon. As I recall, you were laying unconscious in the hospital when
Zeller went gun happy at the station."
"Not just that,
Sandburg, but ever since this started, when the media found out." Blair let
his head drop back against the board. The position hurt his neck, but he welcomed
the new pain. It gave him something to focus on besides the burning in his shoulder.
one could have known how it turned out, Simon. Whats happened happened.
Let of the past and all that jazz."
he paused, staring at the floor, eyes unfocused. "I wish it hadnt been
"Youre not the only one," Blair replied,
trying to lighten the mood. Anymore of this mushy stuff and he was going to cry.
right, Im not," Simon was still all seriousness, looking right into
Blairs eyes. Just when Blair thought he was going to break down, Jim reentered
"What did I miss?" he asked, one of those
fake smiles they all seemed to have handy.
Blair said, and the topic moved onto mundane things.
was a month later. Blair was out of the hospital and at home resting. Not
like I have anyplace to go, he thought languidly, watching a bird outside
on the balcony. Jim was in the kitchen, making spaghetti. Every now and then,
he would pause and look at Blair, as though wondering what to say, or to do. In
the end he would do nothing, simply go back to stirring the simmering noodles
or adjusting the heat over the sauce. Whats that phrase from Ecclesiastics?
Blair wondered, drawing unseen circles with his finger into the arm of the couch.
Everything is meaningless. He had never felt this way before, never.
Not even when he was laid up as an energetic child with a broken arm or some sickness.
Never this blackness, this despair
he looked up at Jims gentle call. "Time to eat." Blair nodded
and eased himself off the couch. Jim paused by his chair, hovering uncertain,
like a hummingbird. Energy to fly to Blairs side if he should so much as
twitch wrong coursed through his body. After a second of hesitation, he took a
seat. He had been rejected too many times to risk trying to help again. After
much needless agony, Blair lowered himself into his own seat. He was moving somewhat
easier these days.
"Looks good," he commented.
Jim smiled. Just a bit.
"Thanks," he replied, offering
the bread basket to Blair. There was silence as they started eating, Jim doing
his pause-stare-hesitate-eat-pause-stare-etc. thing. Finally he cleared his throat.
" a pause, a quick look, a quick breath. "I think you should
find a girl. You know, socialize. I think
I think it would be good."
Blair continued eating slowly, not even gracing Jim with a look.
you do?" he finally asked. "Where would we go? I can barely move around
the loft, let alone a movie theatre."
"Well, I was
thinking," Jim was playing with his bread absently. Tearing it apart into
small bits with his fingers, letting the crumbs fall unto his empty plate. "Someone
from the University, or someone who wouldnt mind coming here and just sitting
and talking." Blair laid his fork down with extreme care.
dont think anyone from the University would want to talk to me, Jim,"
"There must be someone," Jim insisted.
"Just think about it, OK?" Blairs mouth lifted in a half-smile,
"This from the man who constantly ragged
on me for the train wreck that was my love life?" Maybe it was a bit bitter.
Jim looked shocked, his mouth opened in that way that was oh-so familiar.
never "ragged" on you," he protested. "I was just concerned."
Blair was on a roll now. "More emotions from the powerful James Ellison,
who doesnt need anyone? Doesnt need emotions? Will I get another heartfelt
speech?" Jim flinched and looked so hurt that acid regret piled at the back
of Blairs throat. It didnt stop him. Heavem help him, it should have.
"Besides, youre one to talk. I havent seen you for a girl in
ages. Whats the matter? Run out of ghosts? Or married women?" For a
second Jim looked angry, but then it faded and his eyes dropped to his plate,
letting Blair rain down cruelty. Perhaps he felt he deserved it. Blair stood up
suddenly, knocking his chair to the ground. Pain waved over him, and he felt dizzy
for just a second, but he was to angry, at himself and at Jim, to notice. "Well,
Mr. Detective, once you figure out your screwed up life, you can come work on
mine." He disappeared into his room with a grand display, slamming the door
Three hours later Blair cracked open his door and
peered out through the slit. The loft was dark and quiet. He didnt know
if Jim had left or was just in bed. Creeping out, he headed for the bathroom.
On the journey, he noticed all the dishes carefully washed and put out to dry,
in typical Jim style. For some reason, that made his eyes sting. He had been unreasonably
barbarian, inexcusably nasty. That wretched feeling of despair crashed down on
him, ten times worse. Instead of helping things, he had made everything worse.
Another month passed. Blair was slouched over a beer, in a place he had
only been once before in his life, as a wide-eyed child, barely 18. A sleazy club,
known for its women. Im a fine one to talk, he threw his
words from weeks earlier back at himself. I cant seem to stay away
from prostitutes. One girl finished dancing and bowed to cat calls, winking
at one man, thrusting out her tongue at another and wiggling the tip. She slinked
"Youll like this next one," said the
waiter, refilling Blairs cup. Molten gold, Blair thought sluggishly,
watching the bubbles fizz up. "Her names Kristen. Shes real hot."
What kind of name is Kristen for a hooker? Blair mused, drinking his
beer heavily. Kristen came onstage and Blairs eyebrows rose. She was gorgeous,
but there was a certain air about her that attracted Blair. Dangerous, dark. Sure.
She sang some sort of song about taking away loneliness and disappeared. After
she was gone, so was Blair. He felt woozy and had had enough of the dark, smoky
room. He waited outside, shivering, trying to catch a cab.
can take you home," a dark chocolate voice said. Blair turned and felt a
smile tugging on his lips.
"Ive been thinking Joel."
"About what you said in the hospital a few
months ago. About what Blair had to live for." Joel nodded intently, lifting
his mug of steaming coffee to his lips. "We can be what Blair will
"And die for," Joel interrupted dryly.
He earned himself a glare from the Captain.
hes woken up in the hospital hes been drawn into himself. Closed off.
And we havent done anything to get past that. Weve given him his space,
and I think thats been the wrong thing to do. We need to close in, be there."
what do you suggest?" Joel asked.
"Visit him. Thursday
night. Will you join me?" A brilliant smile lit up Joels care-worn
"Wouldnt miss it for the world."
Spin for the govner
To make him look pure.
Spin for the doctors
spin for the cure.
Spin for the troubles
desperate to mend.
Spin for the player
games at an end.
Jim was at the gym,
pushing himself hard. Hed been spending most of his nights there, ever since
Blair blew up at him that night over supper. It was good, he kept telling himself.
Blairs cleansing himself, letting go of the pain. Getting in touch with
how he feels. Sorting things out. It didnt feel good. At all. It felt like
hell. He sat up from doing sit-ups, and wiped sweat from his forehead. The thing
was, it didnt look like they were going to get past this one. Maybe they
should move on, separate. Keep the good memories and look back fondly on their
time together. Not likely, he thought, a wry grin twisting his face.
He stripped off his sweat-soaked tank top, preparing to hit the showers. Either
they were going to slowly kill themselves or each other, or they were going to
live in tense silence for the rest of their lives. Either possibility was better
than the alternative; separation.
Blair smiled as Kristen
laughed at something he said. Maybe Jim was right, maybe this is the best
thing. He was feeling a bit more alive. Who knew they would last more than
a one-night stand? So far it had been a week. Joel and Simon had also started
hanging around the loft more and more. It was nice to see them, and they never
stayed too long, but just enough to make his day a bit more worthwhile. Come to
think of it, they had been slowly increasing the periods of time spent at the
loft. Duped again, he thought, smiling. A glow of something akin to
happiness lit up in his chest. Just small, like an ember, but it was there.
got to go, baby, but Ill see you tomorrow," Kristen got up from the
table and kissed Blair good-bye.
"Bye Kristen," he
grinned goofily after her and paid for their bill. Walking out through the door,
he had an inane urge to whistle. He moseyed on his way toward the loft, not really
concentrating on where he was going.
"Hey," a voice
came behind him. He turned, tensing. "If it isnt Professor Sandburg,
the national fraud." The guy was drunk, but his partner wasnt. His
friend licked his lips nervously.
"Come on Jake, lets
go," he pleaded.
"Not til I get my say,"
staggering forward, Jake stopped right in front of Blair, who was standing stiffly,
looking resolutely forward. He figured it would be best just to let the guy have
his say, then let them both leave. Jake spat in Blairs face. Blair flinched,
but didnt move to wipe it away.
"Its scum like
you who make this world a bad place," Jake slurred. Blair nearly laughed
at the irony, but wisely kept silent. Jake blinked, looked at Blair closely and
seemed to sober.
"You ruined lots of peoples lives, you
know?" he said. The drunken slur had left his voice, and this stunned Blair.
he used to be in your class. Thought the world of you. Now
" Jake shook his head. "I cant stand to look at you."
stood still for a long time after they had left, in that same spot.
"Wheres Blair, Jim?" Joel asked. They were at the loft
on one of their, what Blair had once bitterly termed "charity visits",
but Blair was nowhere to be seen. Jim ran a weary hand over his face.
with that chick hes been seeing
Kristen. I dont get it guys,
he was getting better, looking happier and eating more. Then one day, *bam*! He
goes back into his shell. And now hes eating his time away by hanging around
"I thought you urged him to get
a date?" Simon said, crossing his arms.
"I did, but
this isnt what I expected. I dont like her." Jim kinda laughed.
"He sure knows how to pick em." Regardless of the words, it was
said with soft affection.
"Maybe its just a minor
low point and hell come back out of it soon," Joel suggested.
is expected," Simon added. Jim went to the windows and looked out, not responding.
"I cant believe how low Ive sunk," Blair said to
Kristen. They were at her place, on the couch. Her apartment was small and shabby.
"This drunkard cant stand to look at me." He buried his face in
his hands. Kristen massaged his shoulders.
"It can get better,
baby," she whispered in his ear.
"How?" he asked
plaintively, looking up. She got up and disappeared into her bedroom. For a moment
he thought she wanted him to join her, but she came right back out, carrying something.
It wasnt until she was closer that he saw it was heroin. He sat in stunned
silence. She pressed the spoon into his hand.
"It can take
you someplace else, baby. Away from here, and all the pain. Trust me." Blair
felt slightly nauseous, his mind reeling back to that incident with Golden.
That was hell. He lifted the spoon. This could be heaven. A long moment passed.
Then he stood up and pressed the spoon back into Kristens hand.
a tough call
Its a long haul
OK, it stinks,
But then you knew
That going in.
Its a rough ride
On the back roads;
Thats half the fun
Iron out the
Thats what you do,
You give it spin.
Blair stopped seeing Kristen. The temptation to give in a become a druggie
was to great. At least then people would have some valid reason for hating
me, he thought bitterly, sipping his beer. He was sitting cross-legged on
his bed, staring at his anthropology books, pondering what to do with them. Without
ceremony he stood up, and dropped the nearly empty bottle to the ground, where
it tilted and the few contents it did contain slid over his floor. Ignoring it,
he gathered his books into his arms and walked down to and deposited them in the
trash. A news reporter came up to him, spewing forth questions, but Blair pushed
by him, not listening and walked back up to his room.
rather funny, he supposed. After the press conference the media had been waiting
for him at both the loft and the police station. Luckily, he and Jim had
beat them to the latter. While he was in the hospital they had spent the first
few days buzzing around the doors. When he didnt wake up, they had slowly
left. Once he was released, they were back with a vengeance, at the loft and
the police station. When he didnt come out they had once again gotten discouraged.
Jim had pulled the phone plug out so the calling would stop. Then he started to
move around, but where he was going befuddled them. They never caught on
he spent all his time at a bar or with a virtual prostitute. Now he was back to
staying hidden in the loft, and they were still waiting for their, oops, his
story. But thankfully, there werent swarms of them now, just one or two
everywhere he turned.
Blair tugged on his coat and grabbed his
keys. Though he might be digging his own grave, he was going to the station. To
see Joel and Simon. He felt terrible about the way he had treated them when they
had last shown up. He had been curt and callous, finally retiring to his room
without being excused and slamming the door, refusing to emerge. He had been like
a five year old brat, he reflected, swallowing hard.
it into his car fine, slamming the door in the reporters face and pulling
away without so much as a backward glance.
"When did it
become so," he mused aloud to the silent interior. "That I should care
more about Simon and Joels feelings than Jims?" But that thought
made him want to cry, so he pushed it away.
There was another
reporter leaning against a police car, waiting for him. He snapped to attention
eagerly when Blair got out of his car.
"Mr. Sandburg, is
it true that you lied about finding a Sentinel?" Blair shot a withering glance
at the young man.
"Did you watch the press conference?"
he asked. The kid nodded enthusiastically. Instead of being intimidated, he was
practically jumping for joy. This was the first time Blair Sandburg had spoken
to a reporter!
"Then you should know the answer to that,"
and he slammed the door behind him, ignoring the young mans deflated look.
His heart started beating faster as he came closer to Major Crimes. This would
be the first time hed been there since the shooting with Zeller. Wiping
his hands on his jeans, he steadied himself and walked in.
Blair!" Brown wrapped an arm around his shoulders in a half-hug. "Its
great to see you! How are you feeling?"
good, H," he smiled up at the larger man.
Rafe noticed him and looked around for someplace to set his coffee and files.
Dropping them onto a desk, he came quickly up. "Weve missed you. How
are you doing?"
"Sandy, its about time you showed
up," Megan came next, trying to look mad, but a large smile split open on
her pretty face.
"Sandburg!" Dazed, Blair watched Nelson,
a man he had chatted with a few times come up. "How are you? Its been
lonely around here."
In the end, it wasnt his grave
after all, but a balm to his spirit. Jim sat at his desk, unnoticed, watching
everyone shaking Blairs hand and pounding him on the back. A tiny smile
appeared at the corner of his mouth before fading. He looked down at the papers
on his desk and took a deep, sad breath.
"I was glad
you came by the station today," Jim said softly later. They were back at
the loft. Jim stood in the kitchen, watching him uncertainly, wearing that ridiculous
apron and knotting his hands in a dishtowel. Blair felt a wave of affection crest
over him at the sight.
"Me too," he offered a small
smile. Jim responded with a shy one of his own. Blairs grew larger. So did
Jims. They sat there for a second, smiling widely at each other. After the
bruising weeks of silence, this serene quiet between them felt like paradise.
Spin for the genius
Who fixes whats broke.
Spin for the mirrors
spin for the smoke.
Spin for the lady
Who lives in the shoe,
Gone through the battles,
But still she gets through.
And spin for
Who fakes it on cue.
Who patches the cracks
And then sniffs at the glue.
And spin for the piggy
hazards the cost
But never admits
the game has been lost.
"Have you got that?"
am. Stop worr-" crash
"Stop laughing, Jim.
"Fine! Pick it up yourself." Blair
had a huge grin on his face as he considered the man in front of him. Jim was
sitting on the floor, laughing helplessly. It wasnt even that funny, but
Blair realized that all the suppressed emotions from months and weeks of strain
and tension were finally being released. From both of them. He sat down and began
to laugh too.
But appearances count.
And on that count
Youre richer than sin.
a good time.
Its a great life.
No, no, really,
I mean it.