do you feel that?" the man being questioned looked up from his large book
"Feel what, Jim?" he asked of his Blessed
Protector. Jim stood in the middle of the loft, head cocked.
predict a vision tonight," he stated.
"Great! Let me
know what happens. Can you hand me my Blessed Protractor?"
picked up the tool and tossed it to Sandburg, who went back to his frantic scribbling.
Jim went back to circling the loft, sniffing the air suspiciously.
do you smell acorns?"
*/He was in the jungle, armed with
"Who are you?" a voice came. He looked
around, but saw nothing.
"I am a Sentinel."
"Detective James Ellison."
do you do?"
"I guard the Great City. Occasionally I
sing and dance."
"What college did you go to?"
"Whats the velocity of a ball traveling
35 miles per hour?"
"35 miles per hour?"
good, Sentinel." His gaze finally landed on the speaker. A squirrel perched
on a rock about six feet from him.
"You must get the acorns."
Blair woke to someone shaking his shoulder.
he sat up and looked around sleepily. "Whas wrohn?"
hate a vision." Blair frowned at him in confusion.
hate a vision?" Jim shook his head.
"Typo by the author."
Man, I hate it when that happens."
"Me too." There
was a moment of reflective silence before they said simultaneously: "Anyway."
had a vision." Blair looked enthralled.
"What was it
"A squirrel appeared to me and told me I must
find the acorns. Or was it get the acorns?" Blair looked thoughtful for a
long time before saying:
"I thought your spirit guide was
"He took off." Both men jumped and
looked at the pillow, where a small brown squirrel stood, carrying a acorn under
one arm. "And its *get* the acorns, moron. I just left five minutes
ago. Geez." Jim looked appropriately ashamed.
do you mean get the acorns? What are the acorns? Where can we find
them?" Sandburg asked. "Do I still have the wolf as my spirit guide?"
yours is in stress therapy. He went over the edge sometime after that second Kincaid
incident. There was just no saving him." All three paused and hung their
heads. "The acorns are in the park. You *must* collect them before sunset
tomorrow." Magically, the squirrel faded out.
Blair called. "Who is my new spirit guide?" But the squirrel was gone.
next morning Sandburg woke up to find himself alone. Jim had left a note saying
he was at the park, hunting for the acorns. Blair sighed and whipped up a gourmet
breakfast with extremely spicy food. As he was finishing eating, his nose and
eyes were running. He looked around the loft for a Kleenex. Nothing. Blair headed
for the bathroom.
"I swear, Jim has some sort of phobia,"
he muttered to himself, opening the closet door. Sure enough, there was not one,
not two, but *three* family size packs of toilet paper. "Im surprised
he didnt see *that* when he was in the Eye of God; running out of toilet
paper." He ripped open one and blew his nose. He froze in horror as his eyes
landed upon some*thing* clinging to the shower curtain. Blair blinked and the
thing was gone. He backed away from the room, heart racing. It wasnt until
he had bumped into the counter in the kitchen that he realized that he had seen
his new spirit guide.
"Oh *man*," his voice filled
the silent loft. "I get stuck with a *sloth*!"
returned home at lunch, shoulders slumped.
find anything?" Blair asked sympathetically, dishing out a dish that was
commonly eaten in mid morning by the ancient Heimlechs from Maneuver.
and times running out." Jim dropped his head into his hands and sighed
"Dont give up hope just yet, big guy,"
Blair said encouragingly. "Ill be with you now." A short time
later, they were in the park, Sandburg coaching Jim on using his senses to find
the precious acorns.
"This isnt working, Chief. I
can smell them too strongly to pinpoint a location." Blair frowned and looked
heavenward for answers.
"This isnt right, Sandburg.
"Cooked?" Blair repeated,
perplexed. Jim closed his eyes and turned his head to the right. Opening them,
he blinked and pointed.
"There! Acorns roasting on an open
fire!" A blur passed by, and Blair jumped back and yelped.
think Jack Frost just nipped my nose!" he complained, holding the said organ
"Sorry, Chief. I even tried changing the line
so we could be spared that."
"Eh, its OK. Come
on, lets get this over with." They trotted over to the vendor and bought
a sack of roasted acorns.
"Lets hope the rodents
satisfied with this," Jim muttered as they headed toward the Ford.
heard that," both men jumped and looked down. The squirrel stood in front
of them, this time decked out in a miniature tuxedo with a white cummerbund, top
hat and walking stick. He gestured with the walking stick for Jim to set the bag
down. Jim obliged.
"These will do great. I have a hot date
tonight and needed some special culinary component." Before their very eyes
the bag shrunk until it was an easy size for the squirrel to pick up. Which he
did. He lifted his hat at them.
"Thanks guys." And
with that, turned on his heel and walked off, fading as he went. Jim and Blair
looked around, but the other occupants of the park were happily milling about,
having not noticed anything strange.
"Say Chief, how about
we get a bag of acorns of our own? They smell really good
enjoyed it. This was inspired in part by my adamant belief that my spirit guide
is a hamster. Eat, sleep, run around in a squeaky wheel, that's basically my life.